Post-Op Post

Here it is, my post-op blog post... yeah say that 10 times fast :) Today it has been exactly two weeks since my surgery and... I only have 12ish more weeks till I'm back to normal whoooooo can I get an Amen?

Thinking back on surgery day I definitely feel like it was all a dream. That morning I woke up, got dressed, put on make-up (for surgery? Of course.) and headed to the hospital with my parents and my sister. I wasn’t feeling nervous, just more anxious then anything, and so ready to get this over with. They did the usual hospital registration, signing of the waivers and deciding who my money would go to if I died… luckily I don’t have any money so that was easy. We waited in the waiting room and they called me back for prep. They prepped me, I said my I love yous and then they wheeled me away. By this time I was supposed to be feeling this lovely cocktail that the nurse gave me but I felt nothing. I started to panic and kept telling her I couldn’t feel anything. We got to the operating room and they moved me over to the table and strapped my arms down. By this point I was in full on panic mode and the tears started pouring. I couldn’t see a thing because they made me give my mom my glasses but I could see the blur of a nurse over me and I could feel her wiping my tears and saying it was going to be ok.

The next thing I know I was waking up in the recovery room. It was 5 hours later and my chest literally felt like I had done 1 million bench presses. I couldn’t lift my head or arms. My throat was so dry. I couldn’t talk, only whisper because it hurt. The nurse fed me ice chips but it was never enough. What I would have given to down an ice cold glass of water at that point… Honestly, that time in recovery was the WORST. I kept asking when I could see my family, that’s all I could think about. I wondered if they knew I was ok. I wondered if they were here waiting for me. It seemed like eternity waiting to get to my room. After about an hour or so they finally brought me to my room and let me say, getting moved over to the hospital bed from the rolling one was absolute horror. Awful. My chest hurt soooo bad. And then I met my new best friend, morphine. I clicked that thing every 6 minutes for 2 days straight.

During my stay I got lots of flowers and edible arrangements and cupcakes and visitors and I felt and still feel extremely blessed for all of the support I have in my life. Hospital stays aren’t fun so I couldn’t be more thankful for all of the wonderful people who came to visit me. I think at one point we had about 11 people in my room. I got to see some very special people and even got a surprise visit that I was ecstatic about :) Thank God I got my own room and it was so nice and spacious! My family took turns staying with me. I felt so bad waking them up every single hour needing something or another, but they were so great and helpful. There was never a time in those 3 days that I was alone in my room. It made things so much easier always having someone there.

Now that I’m home things are getting easier. The first couple of days were rough. There is no way to be completely comfortable. As a tummy sleeper I had a really hard time sleeping on my back let alone sitting up! Now I can actually lay down on my back so it’s a bit easier but still a struggle. The drains SUCK and are so gross. I can't look at them. Doctor George has been cleaning them for me and fixing me up real nice y'all. Can't wait to get them out, 3 more days!!!

My arm muscles were completely out of commission for at least 5 days after surgery. I couldn’t do a thing with them it was the weirdest thing. Every day things get better. My first bath was a huge milestone. It’s amazing what a bath can do. Shout out to my wonderful mom who bathed and clothed me. We both just laughed through the awkwardness. I don’t think I have any shame left after my hospital stay. My dad had to help me put on underwear one day and I had like 4 different nurses wipe me after I peed. No shame here.

So it’s two weeks later and things are good. My chest still hurts and my back HURTS all the time. Now that the swelling has gone down a ton I can actually feel the expanders inside my chest and it’s uncomfortable. When I lay down I can feel them putting pressure on my lungs for the first couple of seconds and then I’m good, it's weird.

I drove today WHOO. It was hard and turns hurt and I probably won’t do it again for a while but my hair hadn’t been washed since surgery and I was itching… literally to get it washed and styled.

Anyway, thank you for all the prayers and thoughts and words y’all have sent my way for the past couple of weeks. It has meant the world to me. The hardest part is over!

-Eryn

Just a little something to hold you over.

Unfortunately I have been unable to do much since surgery so I apologize for not getting back to everyone on Facebook/texts/calls and all the flowers and gifts that were sent. As soon as I am feeling better I will be responding to everyone, it's just a little much for me now. I leave you with this, my current set up. Here I am, drains in tow. I have a considerable amount of swelling under my arms and where the girls used to be but things are getting better. It's such a relief knowing that my chances of getting breast cancer went from 87% to 1%. I can breathe again. Thank you friends and family for everything. I am continually overwhelmed with support and love.  Happy to say I slept in about 3 hour increments last night versus the usual one hour. Back to the couch I go.

No Tupac I don't want change.

It is safe to say that I am semi freaking out. One day stands between me and one of the biggest choices I've had to make in my life. As the reality of it sets in, I find myself wanting to oh... throw back a few xanax and call it a day. 

But I've got lots to do. Like watch 25 days of christmas on ABC family and finish washing all my clothes. clothes that I won't be able to wear for at least 2 weeks, yay. Can I be a debbie downer right nowwwwww?

Actually all was peachy today. I got a pedicure with the lovely Powell girls and went to dinner. Oh and then it just slipped out that the person who was supposed to come and take care of me for the next 2 weeks can't come anymore. No big deal.

Cue silent freak out. Cue poker face. I told myself not to cry at least 4 times the rest of the dinner.

This whole kink has my anxiety levels through the roof. My parents are assuring me it will be fine. They will take off work and take turns. For two whole weeks? I am fine with this of course. I am mostly freaked out that my perfect, well thought out plans are changing at the last second and this is not ok with me. No more changes in plans please. For the sake of my sanity. Or what's left of it.

On a lighter note... I had my last final today. Where is my sense of relief? I can't find it anywhere. 

Tomorrow I spend my day christmas shopping and frolicking in the sunshine. Someone do something crazy with me. Please and thank you. 

- Eryn

6 days 6 days 6 days!

Look at me, look at me, I got blog happy this morning and finally gave this thing some life! I loveeeee it. The gray was so boring and melancholy and this blog is NOT that. SO welcome, stay for a while :)

18 days until Christmas y'all! My absolute favorite holiday. I love the coziness and the family time and the cold weather (it's coming I hear!) and the music and all the love, and I am just a big ball of Christmas happiness right now. With that said, I have a hugeeeeeee case of FOMO already and I haven't even had my surgery yet. I am more worried about how I am going to participate in all the Christmas festivities after my surgery than my actual surgery! I've probably gone a little overboard with recovery research and asking a friend when she could drive, how long before she could walk around, when did she start feeling better... and as much as I want to plan my recovery out on paper, I can't and it's driving me crazy. So I am stressing. And guess what, finals are next week! Surgery and finals all in one week someone pinch me I must be dreaming!

Speaking of stress. I got sick last week. First it was fever, then runny nose and now it’s just a stalker cough that will not leave me alone. My surgeon sent me straight to the doctor to get meds and said if I didn't get better we would have to reschedule surgery. There is no way in hell that is happening so I have stayed in for the past week and rested. The stalker is still bothering me but it's slowly getting better. A few nights ago, I literally coughed for 2 hours straight. Nothing helped, so I tried this Mexican remedy of putting VICKS on the soles of your feet and sleeping with socks on. The minute I put them on I don't think I coughed once. It was seriously magic. I've done it for the past 3 nights and have got a good night’s sleep. THANK YOU GOD.

On Thursday I had my last plastic surgery appointment! They finalized everything and then took a bunch of topless pictures of me. I wanted to laugh whole time. I think I'm 12 years old inside. My appointment concluded with me asking if I could wear makeup and nail polish on surgery day.

On Friday, I had my pre-registration appointment at the hospital. I had to go in and give blood, pee in a cup and get a chest x-ray and now I am all ready for Friday ahhhhhh.

I had to get some special mastectomy bras that clasp in the front. They are flat out ugly and I wish someone would make a line of mastectomy bras that didn’t make you feel like a grandma. I can't believe its 6 days away. I am sooooo ready to do this. I have lots planned for next week like manis & pedis with the girls in my family before the big day and I am going to take the ultimate shower on Thursday night, since I won't be able to for a while after surgery. It's crazy to think that this time next week, my girls will be gone. But I will feel so relieved and that's what matters.

- Eryn

wham. bam. thank you mammogram.

 Whewwww. 

As I am typing this, blood is soaking through the gauze taped to my arm. Thank you hyper IV lady. Today I began my surgery preparation. First up was the infamous mammogram. I've never had a mammogram before but I have heard stories of pain and anguish and I was pretty darn nervous. I got to my appointment super early (for once), filled out my paperwork, played a little texas hold em on my phone (I dominated) and waited for them to call my name. Thankfully they said my name right, which has been my deepest fear since they announced me as Erwin Poo-well at jury duty. I followed the nurse to a changing room. She gave me a gown and I couldn't figure out how to put it on. Why are there ties on the inside and outside of the gown? Can't we just make this easy and put them one place?

The nurse took me into the x-ray room and then just stared at me like I was supposed to know what to do next? Seriously? Do I look like I get these on a normal basis lady? I took my gown off and realized my spray tan is in the I-need-to-be-scrubbed-off-immediately-because-I-look-like-I-have-a-skin-disease stage, and I was immediately embarrassed. I tried to explain to her why I looked like this and she calmly told me that I didn't need to explain. Great, now she just thinks I'm a freak. I just wanted to get it over with. I won't go into much detail at this point but they put my girls between a piece of metal and plastic and then cranked it closed. Let me just say it was the easiest part of the day. I honestly felt no discomfort at all which had me elated. I had psyched myself up for something way worse. Little did I know that would come later in the day.

After my mammogram I was scheduled for a breast MRI. I've never had an MRI before but I've seen it on movies and heard stories about how it can be scary and claustrophobic. Why I didn't psych myself up about this I have no idea but it was probably one of the most awful things I've ever been through.

My appointment was at 4:00. I arrived at 3:30. I didn't get into the machine until 5:00. I got out at 5:45.  I left at 6:00. The cleaning crew was already cleaning the halls and gave me weird looks while I was walking out because I was bawling my eyes out and smiling. I was genuinely so happy and thankful it was over.

When I got in the MRI room and saw the machine I started to freak a little. The nurse had me sit in a chair and put an IV in me. She told me they would inject me with some solution during the MRI and would take pictures before and after they injected me. I was asking a million and one questions and I could tell she was getting super annoyed. Am I going to fit in that hole? She laughed. It was a serious question. There was this weird thing sitting on the table. I had to lay face down on top of it, with my face in a hole like a massage chair and my girls in two holes beneath me. I laid my head side ways instead of face down because I knew if I couldn't see the exit I would surely freak out in there. They told me not to move and slowly moved me into the machine. The whole time in there was hard but those first few minutes were absolute hell. Once I got in there, I immediately started to panic in my head. I first tried rationalizing with myself.

I started by telling myself, I am doing this for my mom, for my aunt, for myself, for my future kids, for my family.... I kept repeating this over and over. I pictured my Aunt Mini looking down from heaven and being proud of me at that very moment. I thought of my moms battle and compared this minuscule step in my journey to what she's been through in life and that helped me calm down. When I stopped thinking about that, panic came again and I had to keep myself busy with more thoughts. In an attempt to calm myself down I gave into irrational thoughts like promising myself blue bell ice cream and tres leches if I made it through this, yes VERY IRRATIONAL. Next came thoughts of giving up. I literally thought of moving on purpose so that it would mess up and I could get the hell out of that thing. I did breathing exercises. Breathe in 1-2-3, hold it 1-2-3, breathe out 1-2-3. Those were pretty pointless. I started praying. I started repeating this one scripture that helps me when I'm scared- for God does not give us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind over and over. Then I sang in my head. The only song I could think of at this point was this church song we used to sing when I was super little which is weird because I know every song in the world and have them all memorized and I will sing them out loud when they are on the radio but I could only think of this one. It says you are my strength when I am weak, you are the treasure that I seek, you are my all in all, seeking you as a precious jewel, lord to give up I'd be a fool, you are my all in all. Yes I would truly be a fool if I gave up now so I stuck it out and sang that for a while and then a voice came over the machine and told me they were going to inject me with the solution now. Perfect, I was just calming down people! I literally yelled out HOW MUCH LONGER and the voice came over the speaker and said a few more minutes. Thank you Jesus hallelujah praise the Lord God in heaven above, I was almost done. I felt the injection going into my body. It made me feel tingly and I couldn't move which was miserable. After about ten more minutes of the above thoughts and loud scanning noises I heard a door open and I cried out "is it over". They pulled me out and then like any anxious woman I cried. Mostly because I was so happy it was over and partly because I was honestly proud of myself for sticking it out. I know it may seem trivial that I couldn't lay in an MRI machine for 45 minutes but for me that is huge. I am kicking anxiety in the butt and it feels good. Surgery is going to be a piece of cake after that. At least I hope so.

I have my pre-op appointment with my surgical oncologist next Monday to get my medications ahead of time and finalize everything! I can't believe its almost here.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will be back next week. We are heading to Houston Wednesday morning to have our annual Menchaca Family Thanksgiving with my moms side. I can't wait. This year is different for me. This journey has taught me what's important in life. Gods timing is so perfect. Have a great holiday friends!

Update... and a rant

Oh just a little update ya'll...

I know I mentioned my CNN iReport in my last blog and the talk of perhaps being part of a story on CNN. I am glad to say that the story was posted a few weeks ago and ended up being on the front page of CNN.com! Very exciting. It was as great article. If you didnt get a chance to check it out, here is the link. 

Tough Choices in Fight Against Breast Cancer Gene

And here is the screenshot AHHH!

I've read the article a lot...maybe my part more than others... but mostly because it still weirds me out that I even made it on there...  anyway there is one part of the article that I'd like to talk about for just a sec.  

When I made the decision to have surgery, believe it or not I did receive scrutiny. Maybe I am super naive but I was definitely not expecting some of the responses I got. I heard things like, "Why would you cut off a healthy part of your body?" or "I think you are making this decision way too fast, you just found out you have the gene" or "Two people I know have breast cancer and they think what you are doing is crazy." When these things are said to me, I have to hold my tongue and remind myself that the people who say them have never had an experience with cancer. I don't expect them to understand. I don't expect anyone to understand really and I don't feel like I have to justify anything to anyone when it is MY body. With that said, a girl in the article was tested for the breast cancer gene at 22. She tested postive. She thought surgery was too drastic and opted for monthly breast exams and check ups. 3 years later she was diagnosed with breast cancer. 25 years old. My age.

I have nothing else to say about that.

32 days

Last time I posted it was 67 days till surgery. Time has been flying by. I quit my job to start preparing. I am focusing on finishing up school right now since my last final is the day before my surgery.

Big News!

So much going on y'all, but I'll start with the awesome stuff like how much press this whole experience has been getting lately ah, it's great. It's the reason I have taken my story to the masses, through my blog and other websites, it's why I share and I couldn't be more excited that people are learning about BRCA. 

This week I had the chance of talking to CNN. Recently CNN iReport posted an assignment asking women if they had been tested for the breast cancer gene. I posted my story, along with my friend Amy from Previvor Generation and the producer contacted us! The producer is writing a story about us and is hoping it will make it on air. She even asked me if I would be willing to film for it on air! Uhhh duhh. Here is a screenshot of my CNN iReport. I like that it has the CNN bar at the top, makes me feel all important and stuff y'all.

If you'd like to read the whole article, click the link below: CNN iReport- Eryn Powell

I mentioned in my last blog that I filmed for The Baptist Breast Center, where I went to get my genetic testing done. Here is the video if you haven't had a chance to check it out. 

In other news, I had my plastic surgeon appointment yesterday. I will never get used to strangers touching my boobs, especially with cold hands :) Anyway we went through all the options and procedures and I got to squeeze some implants. I went in knowing that I wanted saline, but once I got my hands on the silicone, I was super confused. They feel SOOOO different. I had no idea. The easiest way I can explain it is that the saline implant felt like it was full of water and the silicone implant felt like it was full of thick gel. SUPER different. Luckily I don't have to decide that until 3 weeks after my surgery, when they take out the expanders and put an implant in it's place. Oh yeah, and I don't even have to pick my size till after either. Pretty cool.

So the biggest news of all is that my surgery date is SET. I will be going in to North Central Baptist Hospital at 6 a.m. on Friday, December 14. The surgery is supposed to last at least 4 hours and then I will recover there for a few days. The countdown begins. 67 days till freedom. 

Update Y'all!

It's National Previvor Day and National Hereditary Breast & Ovarian Cancer Week! It's only fitting that I update you on my journey today :)

I've been going back and forth for the past month about what kind of surgery I want to have. I had no idea there were so many options when it comes to doing a preventative mastectomy. I found out they can take fat out of my tummy and put it in my boobies, YES. As great as a tummy tuck sounds to the selfish me, I've opted out of this option because the recovery takes a lot longer due to the fact that its two surgeries instead of one and also for the sheer fact that I couldn't live with myself knowing that I took the easy way out instead of going to the gym. I have morals people. Although I do have this sick obsession with the lap band and have maybe just maybe thought about making myself obese just to get it, MAYBE.

Anyway, the biggest decision about my surgery is if I want to keep my nipples or not. It's kind of a catch 22, because if I want to keep my nipples, I still have a very very small chance that I could get breast cancer because I will still have a tiny amount of breast tissue left. If I don't keep my nipples they can reconstruct them later with other skin or they can tattoo them on. This has been one of my biggest struggles when it comes to surgery but I've finally decided, thanks in huge part to a new friend of mine who I will tell you about later, that I am going to KEEP THE NIPS. I've heard many times about how this type of surgery can be very psychologically damaging to a woman, and being able to keep my nipples will help me feel more like me. So that's what I'm doing and I feel a lot more at ease now that I've decided. You're welcome nipples.

One thing I can say about this journey is that it truly has been an emotional rollercoaster. As much as I'd like to say that every day I wake up and thank God that I know I have the breast cancer gene so I can prevent cancer, there really are hard days. What's equally hard is that I feel like the people close to me can't relate. In fact, no one can really relate to what I'm feeling. I've said it before, it's a really weird thing feeling like a ticking time bomb for death. I've been given an abundance of support but I am on this journey alone, and although it's been hard I do feel like I've learned a thing or two about myself. Oh yeah and alcohol is not a good coping mechanism, it only makes things worse, go figure.

On another note, I got asked to be interviewed on film for the Baptist Breast Center which was so much fun. The whole set up was intimidating, with a back drop and a chair in front of it, big lights and umbrellas pointed at me, I felt like I was on 20/20 and not gonna lie I really really really liked it. I secretly think I'd make a great celebrity. Anyway, I was asked questions about my mom, my journey and I even got a chance to talk about my blog. It was truly a great experience. Being able to do things like that make the journey worth it.

Eryn

The Trifecta

So friends, I've told you that this BRCA2 gene raises my risk for breast cancer by leaps and bounds, but what I haven't told you yet is that it also raises my risk for two other types of cancer, ovarian cancer and melanoma. Although the risk of these cancers aren't as high as the breast cancer risk, its still a significantly higher risk than most people have out there. So along with closely monitoring my breasts and planning for surgery to remove them, I also have to closely monitor my ovaries and my skin, and decide which preventative measures I want to take.

Today I went to the 'lady doctor'. If you are squeamish I would stop reading now. Just kidding. Although it seems very typical of me to go into great detail at this point, because I have no shame, I am keeping this blog PG rated. You will be glad to know that today was just a face to face meeting with my doctor, not a face to... PG rated.

First question out of her mouth was "Eryn when would you like to remove your ovaries?" "Um well um well um I want to have kids, so not any time soon." The rest of the conversation is blurry. I never thought that at 24 years old I would be having to discuss a timeline for having kids and removing my ovaries with a doctor.  Having to think about all this so early in my life is really weird and at times it's really hard not to go into overthinking mode and start picturing myself as Jennifer Aniston circa 2011... Oh wait she is engaged now!

SO, at the end of the appointment today, my doctor scheduled me for an ultra sound, which I will have to have done on my ovaries every 6 months until I decide to get them removed. If you know what this consists of you can agree with me when I say OH JOY.

Next week I have my first appointment with a surgical oncologist. We will be discussing the plans for my preventative mastectomy which I am hoping to have in December of this year, fingers crossed!

Thank you all for the prayers and encouragement y'all.

Eryn

I Failed the Test, what else is new?

I am a diehard TV fan. When I say die hard, I mean that me, my mom, and my sister fight over what gets recorded on the DVR because between us we have probably over 50 separate shows to keep up with. We even have a DVR meetings where we all sit down together and go over what we can delete because there is no more room left to record. We are psychotic.  My sister recently moved out and I have to say, a part of me is semi-happy that I get more room on the DVR. Nothing gives me better sense of gratification than catching up on all my shows. One of my favorite shows is the new 90120, it's got over the top teen drama and super unbelievable story lines, and  I just can't get enough. In the last few episodes of the season, a main character, whose mother had passed of breast cancer, was dealing with getting genetic testing for the cancer gene. This is pretty ridiculous but this show gave me the little push I needed to get myself to the doctor. Yes thank you 90210. 

I had heard of BRCA genetic testing a few times in my past. About a year ago, a good friend of mine mentioned that her and the other girls in her family were getting the testing done because they had a history of breast cancer in their family. She didn't have the gene, but her sister and cousin did. Her cousin is 25 and recently had surgery and her sister is about to have hers. Her sister actually reached out to me a few days ago after reading my blog and has offered to help me out on this journey which I am so thankful for! I put the thought of testing in the back of my head and the time and went on with my life. It stayed in the back of my head and popped up every once in a while when I saw an ad for Susan G Komen or heard something about breast cancer. Do I really want to know if I am going to get breast cancer? It's a confusing thing. When 90210 was airing the episodes about the character finding out she had the breast cancer gene, I didn't watch them for the longest time. They sat on my DVR for weeks. I'm not sure what I was afraid of besides the fact that I didn't want to face the reality that I could be in that very position. One day, I was cooking a delicious meal in the kitchen... hahaha ok I wasn't cooking...  I was making popcorn (my specialty) and my mom was watching that episode in the living room nearby. I saw the scene where the doctor told her she had the gene and I was so unbelievably uncomfortable, wondering if at that very moment if my mom was also thinking about me and my future like I was. I started researching places where I could get the testing done. I mentioned it to my mom and she found a center that would do it for free, since I had a strong history in my family. I set the appointment and eagerly waited for the day of my test. 

I did a lot of crying that week. It's definitely a weird feeling. I hadn't known my results, hell I hadn't even taken the test but I knew that this could mean big changes in my life. My appointment day came and a lot of emotions went through me in that meeting. I wanted to laugh when she was talking about boobs because I am immature and then I wanted to cry when she asked me what my timeline was (scary) and then I took a mouthwash test that would determine my fate. Anyway, we would come back in 7-10 days for the results. 

The waiting game was pretty intense. Kali called and said my results were in. We went in that next day, and she pulled out my results and sure enough I tested positive for BRCA2. I didn't cry this time. I think I had already came to terms that I probably had it in those few days of waiting. The couple days after that I have to admit I was feeling a bit depressed. As I came to terms with the results, I started feeling better. I do feel like a clock is ticking inside my chest, and the sooner I get rid of these boobies, the sooner I will be safe, but I on my way to figuring out what my next step will be and I couldn't be more thankful that this test was available to me. If you have a history of breast cancer in your family, I encourage you to be proactive in your prevention and get the test done. It may be the best thing you can do for yourself and your future family.

Thanks for reading y'all,

Eryn

My Experience With Breast Cancer

My first memory of breast cancer was when I was 13. I was in my acceptance interview at Cornerstone when the principal asked my dad if he could tell him one specific thing that God has done for him in his life. Not knowing what was coming, I cringed in my seat as I prepared to hear my dad go off on a tangent about the extent of his love for Jesus. My dad has always been our number one cheerleader when it comes to having a personal relationship with God. Growing up he would ask me how my walk with God was or if I was in the FOG (an acronym he made up meaning 'favor of God'), I definitely rolled my eyes at that one a few times. One time he made vinyl stickers with a christian fish and the letters F-O-G and put it on his car. Needless to say he was persistent and has always encouraged us to better our relationships with God, and I admire him for that. The next words I heard in the interview were, "Well Eryn doesn't know this but God healed my wife of breast cancer." My heart stopped. I let the words sink in and held back my tears with every ounce of my being. what. the. heck.  My mom was sick! When! Why hadn't I know? I was shocked. A few weeks later, I brought up the interview. My dad told me that I was 6 years old and too young to understand at the time. There were no obvious signs because my mom was able to take a low dose chemo pill and had no visible symptoms. I don't remember ever thinking anything was weird, but then again I was 6. I was busy playing barbies and making home videos of myself dancing around and singing. I only know this because my mom has uploaded them to youtube recently, THANKS MOM.

Well I got accepted to Cornerstone. Thankfully the principal did not have a vision from God of the havoc I would wreak in my next 4 years of high school... or a vision of my high school graduation, when the superintendent gave his speech and mentioned that a particular girl was in his office at the beginning of her high school career and now she is here graduating, yes that happened. I had the time of my life and needless to say I have settled down... somewhat. It was during my high school years that my mom's sister Mini (1 out of 5 sisters YEAH) was diagnosed with breast cancer.We watched her fight and fight for many years as the cancer spread. Even through her intensive chemotherapy, she always had a smile on her face and even did the breast cancer walk with us a few times. I will never forget a picture I have of her and mom crossing the finish line in their survivor shirts. She was such a fighter! When I was 23, the doctors decided there was no more they could do. Aunt Mini went to be with Jesus a few weeks later and it was one of the hardest things our family has ever had to deal with. It's still hard. We miss her every day.

While preparing for her funeral, my parents sat me and my sister down for a 'talk'. These talks were pretty common with me and my parents, mostly in my high school years and they almost always ended with some sort of sentencing. What could I possibly be in trouble for at 23 years old. I definitely wasn't expecting to hear what I did. My mom's breast cancer had came back. Great timing. Right in the middle of losing Aunt Mini, this can't be happening. I was heart broken. The funeral day came and it was a tough one. Mourning the loss of a loved one and mourning the news of my mother was overwhelming. I will never forget when my Aunt Mini's daughter Wendy found me after the funeral, held me while I cried and told me that her mom was going to be my mom's angel through this.

After a few weeks, my mom began to prepare for her journey. She was going to have a bilateral mastectomy and then start chemotherapy. The day of her surgery was emotionally draining. We all took off work, and sat in the waiting room for hours waiting and waiting. Mom's friends came by and brought us a big basket of food and treats. My mom's friend from high school who is also my dear friend Jordan's mom brought us an ice chest, with drinks and food for our stay at the hospital. After the surgery, so many people came to visit, brought us dinner many nights of the week and took care of us, we are blessed with the most amazing family and friends. I wish I could name and thank every single one of you on here. My Aunt Sonia came to live with us to take care of my mom while she recovered. After her recovery, she began chemotherapy. There is no manual on how to act when your parent is going through chemo but there should be. Watching someone you've always known to be so strong become so weak and lose all their hair is absolutely heart breaking. I went to chemotherapy with her once. Sitting there for hours in a room with other cancer patients hooked up to machines is very emotional. It was too hard on me to watch and thankfully my aunt Yolanda devoted a lot of her time to being with my mom at her appointments, she is an angel. My mom eventually finished chemo therapy and all of her pretty hair grew back and now she is a two time survivor as of 2010. She is truly my hero.

So all of this brings you to where my journey starts.

Thanks for reading y'all,

Eryn

Um what

I am starting this new blog to document my journey with the breast cancer gene. After many late nights of researching, I've found that there isn't too much info out there about living with it so I'm going to give it a shot. I have the BRCA2 gene, a hereditary gene that causes breast cancer. In fact, it raises your chances of getting it to a whopping 87%. Cool! For those who know me and for those who don't, I hope this blog can raise awareness and more importantly help someone else looking for comfort or answers.

Thanks for reading y'all!

Eryn