Big News!

So much going on y'all, but I'll start with the awesome stuff like how much press this whole experience has been getting lately ah, it's great. It's the reason I have taken my story to the masses, through my blog and other websites, it's why I share and I couldn't be more excited that people are learning about BRCA. 

This week I had the chance of talking to CNN. Recently CNN iReport posted an assignment asking women if they had been tested for the breast cancer gene. I posted my story, along with my friend Amy from Previvor Generation and the producer contacted us! The producer is writing a story about us and is hoping it will make it on air. She even asked me if I would be willing to film for it on air! Uhhh duhh. Here is a screenshot of my CNN iReport. I like that it has the CNN bar at the top, makes me feel all important and stuff y'all.

If you'd like to read the whole article, click the link below: CNN iReport- Eryn Powell

I mentioned in my last blog that I filmed for The Baptist Breast Center, where I went to get my genetic testing done. Here is the video if you haven't had a chance to check it out. 

In other news, I had my plastic surgeon appointment yesterday. I will never get used to strangers touching my boobs, especially with cold hands :) Anyway we went through all the options and procedures and I got to squeeze some implants. I went in knowing that I wanted saline, but once I got my hands on the silicone, I was super confused. They feel SOOOO different. I had no idea. The easiest way I can explain it is that the saline implant felt like it was full of water and the silicone implant felt like it was full of thick gel. SUPER different. Luckily I don't have to decide that until 3 weeks after my surgery, when they take out the expanders and put an implant in it's place. Oh yeah, and I don't even have to pick my size till after either. Pretty cool.

So the biggest news of all is that my surgery date is SET. I will be going in to North Central Baptist Hospital at 6 a.m. on Friday, December 14. The surgery is supposed to last at least 4 hours and then I will recover there for a few days. The countdown begins. 67 days till freedom. 

Update Y'all!

It's National Previvor Day and National Hereditary Breast & Ovarian Cancer Week! It's only fitting that I update you on my journey today :)

I've been going back and forth for the past month about what kind of surgery I want to have. I had no idea there were so many options when it comes to doing a preventative mastectomy. I found out they can take fat out of my tummy and put it in my boobies, YES. As great as a tummy tuck sounds to the selfish me, I've opted out of this option because the recovery takes a lot longer due to the fact that its two surgeries instead of one and also for the sheer fact that I couldn't live with myself knowing that I took the easy way out instead of going to the gym. I have morals people. Although I do have this sick obsession with the lap band and have maybe just maybe thought about making myself obese just to get it, MAYBE.

Anyway, the biggest decision about my surgery is if I want to keep my nipples or not. It's kind of a catch 22, because if I want to keep my nipples, I still have a very very small chance that I could get breast cancer because I will still have a tiny amount of breast tissue left. If I don't keep my nipples they can reconstruct them later with other skin or they can tattoo them on. This has been one of my biggest struggles when it comes to surgery but I've finally decided, thanks in huge part to a new friend of mine who I will tell you about later, that I am going to KEEP THE NIPS. I've heard many times about how this type of surgery can be very psychologically damaging to a woman, and being able to keep my nipples will help me feel more like me. So that's what I'm doing and I feel a lot more at ease now that I've decided. You're welcome nipples.

One thing I can say about this journey is that it truly has been an emotional rollercoaster. As much as I'd like to say that every day I wake up and thank God that I know I have the breast cancer gene so I can prevent cancer, there really are hard days. What's equally hard is that I feel like the people close to me can't relate. In fact, no one can really relate to what I'm feeling. I've said it before, it's a really weird thing feeling like a ticking time bomb for death. I've been given an abundance of support but I am on this journey alone, and although it's been hard I do feel like I've learned a thing or two about myself. Oh yeah and alcohol is not a good coping mechanism, it only makes things worse, go figure.

On another note, I got asked to be interviewed on film for the Baptist Breast Center which was so much fun. The whole set up was intimidating, with a back drop and a chair in front of it, big lights and umbrellas pointed at me, I felt like I was on 20/20 and not gonna lie I really really really liked it. I secretly think I'd make a great celebrity. Anyway, I was asked questions about my mom, my journey and I even got a chance to talk about my blog. It was truly a great experience. Being able to do things like that make the journey worth it.

Eryn

The Trifecta

So friends, I've told you that this BRCA2 gene raises my risk for breast cancer by leaps and bounds, but what I haven't told you yet is that it also raises my risk for two other types of cancer, ovarian cancer and melanoma. Although the risk of these cancers aren't as high as the breast cancer risk, its still a significantly higher risk than most people have out there. So along with closely monitoring my breasts and planning for surgery to remove them, I also have to closely monitor my ovaries and my skin, and decide which preventative measures I want to take.

Today I went to the 'lady doctor'. If you are squeamish I would stop reading now. Just kidding. Although it seems very typical of me to go into great detail at this point, because I have no shame, I am keeping this blog PG rated. You will be glad to know that today was just a face to face meeting with my doctor, not a face to... PG rated.

First question out of her mouth was "Eryn when would you like to remove your ovaries?" "Um well um well um I want to have kids, so not any time soon." The rest of the conversation is blurry. I never thought that at 24 years old I would be having to discuss a timeline for having kids and removing my ovaries with a doctor.  Having to think about all this so early in my life is really weird and at times it's really hard not to go into overthinking mode and start picturing myself as Jennifer Aniston circa 2011... Oh wait she is engaged now!

SO, at the end of the appointment today, my doctor scheduled me for an ultra sound, which I will have to have done on my ovaries every 6 months until I decide to get them removed. If you know what this consists of you can agree with me when I say OH JOY.

Next week I have my first appointment with a surgical oncologist. We will be discussing the plans for my preventative mastectomy which I am hoping to have in December of this year, fingers crossed!

Thank you all for the prayers and encouragement y'all.

Eryn

I Failed the Test, what else is new?

I am a diehard TV fan. When I say die hard, I mean that me, my mom, and my sister fight over what gets recorded on the DVR because between us we have probably over 50 separate shows to keep up with. We even have a DVR meetings where we all sit down together and go over what we can delete because there is no more room left to record. We are psychotic.  My sister recently moved out and I have to say, a part of me is semi-happy that I get more room on the DVR. Nothing gives me better sense of gratification than catching up on all my shows. One of my favorite shows is the new 90120, it's got over the top teen drama and super unbelievable story lines, and  I just can't get enough. In the last few episodes of the season, a main character, whose mother had passed of breast cancer, was dealing with getting genetic testing for the cancer gene. This is pretty ridiculous but this show gave me the little push I needed to get myself to the doctor. Yes thank you 90210. 

I had heard of BRCA genetic testing a few times in my past. About a year ago, a good friend of mine mentioned that her and the other girls in her family were getting the testing done because they had a history of breast cancer in their family. She didn't have the gene, but her sister and cousin did. Her cousin is 25 and recently had surgery and her sister is about to have hers. Her sister actually reached out to me a few days ago after reading my blog and has offered to help me out on this journey which I am so thankful for! I put the thought of testing in the back of my head and the time and went on with my life. It stayed in the back of my head and popped up every once in a while when I saw an ad for Susan G Komen or heard something about breast cancer. Do I really want to know if I am going to get breast cancer? It's a confusing thing. When 90210 was airing the episodes about the character finding out she had the breast cancer gene, I didn't watch them for the longest time. They sat on my DVR for weeks. I'm not sure what I was afraid of besides the fact that I didn't want to face the reality that I could be in that very position. One day, I was cooking a delicious meal in the kitchen... hahaha ok I wasn't cooking...  I was making popcorn (my specialty) and my mom was watching that episode in the living room nearby. I saw the scene where the doctor told her she had the gene and I was so unbelievably uncomfortable, wondering if at that very moment if my mom was also thinking about me and my future like I was. I started researching places where I could get the testing done. I mentioned it to my mom and she found a center that would do it for free, since I had a strong history in my family. I set the appointment and eagerly waited for the day of my test. 

I did a lot of crying that week. It's definitely a weird feeling. I hadn't known my results, hell I hadn't even taken the test but I knew that this could mean big changes in my life. My appointment day came and a lot of emotions went through me in that meeting. I wanted to laugh when she was talking about boobs because I am immature and then I wanted to cry when she asked me what my timeline was (scary) and then I took a mouthwash test that would determine my fate. Anyway, we would come back in 7-10 days for the results. 

The waiting game was pretty intense. Kali called and said my results were in. We went in that next day, and she pulled out my results and sure enough I tested positive for BRCA2. I didn't cry this time. I think I had already came to terms that I probably had it in those few days of waiting. The couple days after that I have to admit I was feeling a bit depressed. As I came to terms with the results, I started feeling better. I do feel like a clock is ticking inside my chest, and the sooner I get rid of these boobies, the sooner I will be safe, but I on my way to figuring out what my next step will be and I couldn't be more thankful that this test was available to me. If you have a history of breast cancer in your family, I encourage you to be proactive in your prevention and get the test done. It may be the best thing you can do for yourself and your future family.

Thanks for reading y'all,

Eryn

My Experience With Breast Cancer

My first memory of breast cancer was when I was 13. I was in my acceptance interview at Cornerstone when the principal asked my dad if he could tell him one specific thing that God has done for him in his life. Not knowing what was coming, I cringed in my seat as I prepared to hear my dad go off on a tangent about the extent of his love for Jesus. My dad has always been our number one cheerleader when it comes to having a personal relationship with God. Growing up he would ask me how my walk with God was or if I was in the FOG (an acronym he made up meaning 'favor of God'), I definitely rolled my eyes at that one a few times. One time he made vinyl stickers with a christian fish and the letters F-O-G and put it on his car. Needless to say he was persistent and has always encouraged us to better our relationships with God, and I admire him for that. The next words I heard in the interview were, "Well Eryn doesn't know this but God healed my wife of breast cancer." My heart stopped. I let the words sink in and held back my tears with every ounce of my being. what. the. heck.  My mom was sick! When! Why hadn't I know? I was shocked. A few weeks later, I brought up the interview. My dad told me that I was 6 years old and too young to understand at the time. There were no obvious signs because my mom was able to take a low dose chemo pill and had no visible symptoms. I don't remember ever thinking anything was weird, but then again I was 6. I was busy playing barbies and making home videos of myself dancing around and singing. I only know this because my mom has uploaded them to youtube recently, THANKS MOM.

Well I got accepted to Cornerstone. Thankfully the principal did not have a vision from God of the havoc I would wreak in my next 4 years of high school... or a vision of my high school graduation, when the superintendent gave his speech and mentioned that a particular girl was in his office at the beginning of her high school career and now she is here graduating, yes that happened. I had the time of my life and needless to say I have settled down... somewhat. It was during my high school years that my mom's sister Mini (1 out of 5 sisters) was diagnosed with breast cancer.We watched her fight and fight for many years as the cancer spread. Even through her intensive chemotherapy, she always had a smile on her face and even did the breast cancer walk with us a few times. I will never forget a picture I have of her and mom crossing the finish line in their survivor shirts. She was such a fighter! When I was 23, the doctors decided there was no more they could do. Aunt Mini went to be with Jesus a few weeks later and it was one of the hardest things our family has ever had to deal with. It's still hard. We miss her every day.

While preparing for her funeral, my parents sat me and my sister down for a 'talk'. These talks were pretty common with me and my parents, mostly in my high school years and they almost always ended with some sort of sentencing. What could I possibly be in trouble for at 23 years old. I definitely wasn't expecting to hear what I did. My mom's breast cancer had came back. Great timing. Right in the middle of losing Aunt Mini, this can't be happening. I was heart broken. The funeral day came and it was a tough one. Mourning the loss of a loved one and mourning the news of my mom was overwhelming. I will never forget when my Aunt Mini's daughter Wendy found me after the funeral, held me while I cried and told me that her mom was going to be my mom's angel through this.

After a few weeks, my mom began to prepare for her journey. She was going to have a bilateral mastectomy and then start chemotherapy. The day of her surgery was emotionally draining. We all took off work, and sat in the waiting room for hours waiting and waiting. Mom's friends came by and brought us a big basket of food and treats. My mom's friend from high school who is also my dear friend Jordan's mom brought us an ice chest, with drinks and food for our stay at the hospital. After the surgery, so many people came to visit, brought us dinner many nights of the week and took care of us, we are blessed with the most amazing family and friends. I wish I could name and thank every single one of you on here. My Aunt Sonia came to live with us to take care of my mom while she recovered. After her recovery, she began chemotherapy. There is no manual on how to act when your parent is going through chemo but there should be. Watching someone you've always known to be so strong become so weak and lose all their hair is absolutely heart breaking. I went to chemotherapy with her once. Sitting there for hours in a room with other cancer patients hooked up to machines is very emotional. It was too hard on me to watch and thankfully my aunt Yolanda devoted a lot of her time to being with my mom at her appointments, she is an angel. My mom eventually finished chemo therapy and all of her pretty hair grew back and now she is a two time survivor as of 2010. She is truly my hero.

So all of this brings you to where my journey starts.

Thanks for reading y'all,

Eryn

Um what

I am starting this new blog to document my journey with the breast cancer gene. After many late nights of researching, I've found that there isn't too much info out there about living with it so I'm going to give it a shot. I have the BRCA2 gene, a hereditary gene that causes breast cancer. In fact, it raises your chances of getting it to a whopping 87%. Cool! For those who know me and for those who don't, I hope this blog can raise awareness and more importantly help someone else looking for comfort or answers.

Thanks for reading y'all!

Eryn